Do vagina's smell?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
