Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
sick fucks of a feather flock together
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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