im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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