we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
