five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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