cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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