that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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