i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
