My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You made out with two different species that night
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
