I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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