You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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