I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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