ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize