If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
