Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
