Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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