It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I wish you could order shots online.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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