i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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