Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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