i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
