My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Small penises have feelings too.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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