She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
