dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
