I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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