You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Is it penis luge time yet?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
