Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize