I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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