chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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