i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
