miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
