glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
