Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
