is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
