My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I need moral support for this bender
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
