She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
