two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
