He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
