My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
