So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
