I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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