Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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