He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You can't special order awesome
Is it because I queefed?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
