he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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