Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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