Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Just puked most of my soul out..
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
