I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
