She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
