Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
