Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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