I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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