Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
