Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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