Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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