She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
