i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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