We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
