Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
