He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
