He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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