I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
