Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
