Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize