Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
