The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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