it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
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