yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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