He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
