Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
