i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
