Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
