Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
My vagina just recognized that song.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
