My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
