listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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