I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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