I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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