Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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